I’ve learned a great deal about how to shop for seniors in residential care – things that no one tells you, some of which could save you or someone you know time and effort and make the process less stressful.
When I started this journey I was often advised to shop online but in my experience that’s not so easy when you live some distance away from the care home: you can’t see the quality of what you are buying or return an item easily.
Shop together
When my mother first went to live into residential care we shopped together at Marks and Spencers. She has a good eye for clothes and was able to choose what she liked for herself. Staff were incredibly helpful.
We went to shops like Superdrug, where my mother selected the moisturiser and other toiletries she wanted and again staff were friendly and helpful.
She was able to decide what she to buy and she enjoyed talking to the sales assistants and other shoppers and watching the world go by.
Parking
Stores like Marks and Spencers and Superdrug tend to be in built up town centres and involve parking in a multi-storey car park. Fortunately my mother is mobile.
It never occurred to me to apply for a blue badge for her. Find out whether your relative is entitled to a disabled parking badge (blue badge if you are in the UK). Investigate the equivalent wherever you are.
Dementia Friendly Retailers
An Alzheimer’s Society survey showed that almost 80 per cent of people with dementia listed shopping as their favourite activity.
Dementia-Friendly Retailers, Alzheimer’s Society
More and more retailers are becoming dementia-friendly.
How to shop for different types of clothing
Footwear
We had several attempts to buy shoes. My mother felt shoes fitted when trying them on in the shop. They later proved to be too tight.
Then I discovered Cosyfeet, based in the UK. They sell boots and sandals made out of a wet suit style fabric (stretchy) and with a Velcro fastening. Find a similar supplier near you.
They also supply ‘extra roomy socks’ for people with swollen ankles. If socks are too tight (which socks from standard stores may be) they may cut into swollen ankles.
Talk to sales staff about the issues your relative has with their feet.
If you are purchasing shoes for someone with dementia then their shoes are VAT free. Take care when you completing the form in online to fill in the correct box. Check with their sales assistants the first time you do this.
Clothes
Find a brand that makes clothes your relative will like. Do they like to dress casually: jogging pants or T-Shirts? Or do they prefer more formal attire? Jacket and tie or dresses or skirts and shirts?
Consider fastenings: We buy trousers with an elasticated waists and avoid zips.
Some care homes invite suppliers to come in and they provide a shopping experience and giving residents the opportunity to choose their own clothes.
Handbags
Whenever we went shopping my mother wanted to look at the handbags and I am sorry to say I discouraged her from purchasing a bag. When we went out I was continually having to check that we didn’t leave anything behind – hats, scarves, glasses etc. To me a handbag was one more thing to keep track of. I didn’t look at it from her point of view. She had carried a handbag for most of her life and she may have felt that there was something missing. In retrospect I would buy her a handbag.
Underwear
I purchase underwear made from modal from Marks & Spencers for my relative. Care staff tell me that they stretch well over pull ups.
Before the pandemic I took my mother to regular bra fittings at Marks and Spencers. Staff were always helpful.
If your relative needs incontinence pads these come free on the NHS. Pull ups are more expensive (they are like pants) and you need to buy them. Ask the care home if they have a system for ordering them. They will know when stocks are running low and they need to purchase more.
Don’t forget the second hand
Don’t forget to check out charity shops for clothing. Buying clothes second hand is less expensive and good for the planet. The market for second hand clothes is growing. (Click here to read more about why to buy second hand.)
Remember that care homes often have the central heating turned up. What’s required out on a country walk, thick jumpers and fleeces, may not be so useful in a care home.
Decluttering the wardrobe
Quite often space in the wardrobes is limited so don’t forget to declutter the wardrobe. Clothes crammed into a wardrobe will never come out looking good. (See my article ‘Is getting rid of clutter always the right thing to do? Person Belongings & Dementia’.)
Inspect clothes regularly
Clothing in care homes is washed frequently and often at high temperatures and so may not last as long. Remove anything that is past it’s best and replace if necessary. Take worn out clothes to a charity shop, and mark the bag ‘rags’ to save someone else going through them.
Remove seasonal clothing
If space is tight in the wardrobe consider removing clothing that is inappropriate for the season eg heavy winter coats or jumpers can be removed in summer making more space and summer clothing can be removed in winter.
Remove clothing that is the wrong size
Your relative may change size, gaining or loosing weight. Consider storing the clothes in case they change size again or give the clothes to a charity shop.
Be diplomatic
You may have to be diplomatic about this, removing them quietly or gradually. Your relative may want to keep clothing that is past its best.
Identify the stores in your area
Three suppliers you’ll need when buying clothing for your relative.
- a specialist supplier of footwear
- a quality brand that makes clothes in style your relative likes to wear
- a brand that supplies good quality underwear
And you are all set.
I hope this guide on how to shop for seniors in residential care will help you. These are some of the tips I wish someone had given me. Please post any tips you may have on how to shop for seniors in residential homes in the comments below.
